“I won’t bail out, it’ll be…
            interesting. If it completely
            fails, then we’re getting
            pizza though.”

          “Or we can just use forks,
           you know.”

              “Worst-case scenario.”


"But… I suppose you could be right,
but it’s a little late for HYDRA to be
pulling this card if that’s the case.
Did you ever read my full file?” she
asked, pointedly staring at the baby
rather than Steve. Clearing her throat,
she continued, “The serum they gave
me in 1952 made me infertile. The
file gave no indication if they had the
foresight to remove or to… To freeze
my eggs. Even if they did, its been
so long. Why wait until now?”


"I’m sure she could, but what if we
shouldn’t tug on that thread? I mean,
we have no idea who dropped this baby
here, or if anyone else is looking for her.
What if we put her into danger just
for information that we may or may not

            “——I …Didn’t read all of it so far, no…”,
            steve really had to sit his ass down and finally
            go through every nasty bit of that, but he really
            couldn’t be blamed for rather staying with his
            friend face-toface, now that he had found her,
            than going through her past. A horrible past…

     ”But what are we going to do then?
       We can’t just sit tight and play family.”
       No mattter how seventy years ago Steve
       might or might not have spend most of
       his time wondering how it would be like,
       to be a family with Julia… But they were like
       siblings. She was a sister for him, period.

                              “What if we are in danger now because
                               we have it, have you thought about that?”


[ why does he need lube in the shower?  good god, rogers.  do
you know nothing?  is bucky going to have to teach you
everything?  and ain’t that a thought.  how many times had
bucky been a breath away from offering to show skinny, little
steve rogers the ropes when none of the girls wanted to neck
with him? 

              answer: too many. ]

                      “i don’t care what anyone tells you.  water
                      does not a good substitute make for lube.
                      wet and slick aren’t the same thing.  water
                      can actually make it worse if you don’t
                      know what you’re doing.”


     [ he spares a glance over at the tv and then shrugs.  sure, the
     special effects are great.  bucky had gaped through the entirety
     of star wars when he’d gotten around to watching it.  but that
     might have had something to do with princess leia. ]

"well, i just figured you were interested
in talkin’ about what may or may not be
in the bathroom.  you brought it up.”

         and of course getting that answer is, once again, not
           exactly what Steve had expected and what left him 
           gaping at Bucky — good thing they didn’t have any flies
           Steve had done some research. He wasn’t oblivious
           to the world around him. Not completely, but there
           were situations and informations he still could not
           handle as well as a grown-up man should handle.
           Especially when it involves Bucky and… Bucky’s friend.
           And Bucky’s pretty much everything.

                               ”… — I was just giving you the chance to
                               get your stuff safe before I found them, ‘s
                               all. I didn’t think that’d be a topic worth
                               muting the TV for.”

         ”But if there is something you’d like to share
          while the TV is…muted…you…can do that…?”

                     steve is getting smoother by the minute,
                        really. bucky had to give him some credits
                        for this, and for his talent to dodge metaphoric
                        bullets even without his shield, and he’s
                        at least trying to look at his friend’s face
                        again rather than starring at his food. }



     “…I don’t know how much help
      I’ll be, considering I don’t know
      how to use them either. It could
      be entertaining though.”

            “We’ll figure it out together.
            —I’ll make the call then, yes?
            You can still bail out and ask
            for pizza instead.”

ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ └ ᴿᴱᴹᴵᴺᴰ ┘ ᴍᴇ


             Unfocused eyes remained trapped to the floor for a certain while,
         empty and distant, lacking any sort of light or animation that should
         be found in  a healthy person.  It was not memories  that swept him
         away  from the present,  neither was it the  leftover remains of  his 
         nightmares baring down on top of him. He had managed to somehow
         lock that away for the time being. James had simply lost himself to
         the empty space that was his own mind and for a moment he stared 
         without seeing,  thoughts clashing and blurring  together so violently,
         they  were nothing  more but a deep humming inside  his head head, 
         feeding the static like foliage to a flame. Strengthened by exhaustion,
         he found it quite difficult to pull himself back to the present moment, 
         but fear  quickly helped  to steady him,   spurred on by the watchful
         eyes of his best friend.  

             The words  -  an offer meant to be comforting  -  felt more like a
         heavy kick  to the  stomach,  and instantly,  the air filling Bucky’s
         lungs  rushed out.  Bloodshot eyes widened slightly,  jumping from 
         their spot  on the floor  to the  light in Steve’s  eyes and  suddenly 
         there were tears in his own. Lips parted, dry tongue  tapping lightly
         against the  roof of his mouth as  if preparing to shape words,  but 
         his voice was lost, stolen by surprise. He refused to let the warmth
         building spill over down his cheeks and so he swallowed a gulp of air
         and looked away, gritting his teeth together while wringing his hands.


             He wanted to assure Steve that he was fine; that everything was 
         fine and that he was simply bored. That there wouldn’t be a next time,
         but James was sure Steve would see through the lie. He shrugged it 
         off, refusing to answer the question; barely allowing himself to even 
         really  acknowledge it.  His facade was cracking  and he couldn’t let 
         the truth slip on through.  Disappointment twisted inside his stomach,
         and James realized with resolve that he had to be more careful; more

             Steve’s voice broke through his  thoughts once again but  he was
         grateful this time for the change in subject. Swallowing the hard lump
         stuck inside his throat, the man carefully pushed himself up, finding 
         strength to remain  standing despite  the fatigue weighing  him down. 
         Shoulders remained  hunched  while  hands made their  way into  the 
         pockets of his sweatpants, long-sleeved shirt hiding most of his metal
         arm from sight. The chill that had settled into his bones did not lift and
         so he chewed on his bottom lip to stop the shakes from becoming too

             After he approached Steve, he tried placing that practiced smile
         back onto his face, 
❝ Sounds good. ❞ And then, with a stiff nod, he
         stepped forward, ready to follow.  

                                                            ❝ Lead the way. ❞

        It’s definitely not the definition of a good morning, but Steve
        doesn’t mind it at all. Every morning he can wake up in a
        world with Bucky is worth the struggle and more.

               No one said it was going to be easy, no, no one
               actually believed that what Steve was trying to do
               was anything but torture to himself, but when had
               he ever listened to anyone else but Bucky?
               —Hell, Steve didn’t even listen to Bucky. He was
               stubborn and ready to fight and stand back up
               as many times as it took before he’d be knocked
               out for good.

      The life with Bucky was just another battle he was
      stubborn enough to win or stretch out as long as he
      could. He had the right to be selfish about this, right?
      He deserved this, no matter how much it hurt him most
      of the time. It was worth it…

      Steve pretended to be oblivious to the look on Bucky’s
      face, keeping the same smile on his own features while
      he waited for the moment to pass, and, as usually, it did
      pass and they moved forward - literally, because Steve
      walked out of his bedroom and towards the kitchen,
      immediately heading to the fridge to get the eggs and a
      tomato out before rubbing his eyes with the back of his
      hand sleepily. “Do you want to make the drinks, maybe?”

           This way, Steve hoped, Bucky wouldn’t feel useless,
           because, really, he wasn’t. He was so far away from
           being useless as it got. “Or not. — You don’t have to.”

     He’s walking on eggshells most of the time, but moments
     like this… Moments, in which he can’t just turn away and
     pretend everything is going down smoothly, he feels weak
     for a completely different reason than his physical strength…


"I have no idea. Why do you think
I called you and not some random
babysitter? She can’t be mine, that
much is clear, but there’s nothing
else about this that’s quite so


"This has to have something to do
with me or my past, right? Unless
it’s about you   maybe because they
knew I would call you. That seems
a little to farfetched. How could this
baby possibly have anything to do
with me?”

            “… —It’s not mine, either. I’d know that.”,
           Steve mumbled, lifting an eyebrow at his
           friend before shrugging. “It could be yours.
           I mean…You don’t remember everything
           and they dropped it at your porch, not mine.”

                  He is staring  at the little girl in Julia’s
                  arm, trying to figure out if she looked
                  anything like his friend but…It’s just a
                  baby, afterall.

            “We could call Natasha… I’m sure she
             knows people who can, you know, look
             into things.”